My Nightmare

       On 2008 when I worked with Target, I was pregnant of my third baby…it was a great surprise because my husband and I were not prepared, and we never planned to have another baby. Obviously, many emotions invaded our hearts because God gave me the opportunity to be pregnant and to start again. During the weeks, my love was growing immensely inside me, and day-by-day I was feeling realized as mother and woman. Honestly, I cannot describe with words the sensation and everything that a mother can feel with a little piece of us inside growing and living day by day.  In addition, when I heard my baby’s heart for the first time, it was amazing. I remembered, when I saw the  first photo of my baby in the ultrasound, I cried and I was happy to imagine that in just few months my baby will be on my arms closer to me, and I thought that I could protect my baby for everything…, but at this time I have a beautiful family that give me the energy and the main reason to keep myself strong loving my children and protecting them for the rest of my life.    

        After December 19, 2008 until December 24, 2008, I suffered a miscarriage of my previous baby at the Emergency Department of the Tampa General Hospital (“TGH”) and Brandon Regional Hospital (“BRH”). I was admitted for a potential miscarriage procedure on December 26, 2008. I remembered this date as the moment where my emotions and happiness disappeared to become in one of the worst pain that I suffered in my life… The Lord decided to keep my baby in another of his little angels living in the Heaven...  My little angel remains in the Heaven since December 2008, and I believed that the Lord let me share Christmas Eve with my baby inside me, but my baby was not alive… I knew it, and it was terrible! Unless I felt that my angel was part of me, the decision to put my baby away was a nightmare... I will never forget that December 26, 2008.  However, a miscarriage is situation that I do not want to face again and it has happened into me twice. Therefore, that Christmas season was the saddest time that I lived in my whole life, and the pain inside me marked my heart forever. I know that someday we will be together at Heaven.